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tl;dr: I want to take a trip with friends to vijit other friends. My husband was innsikd, but he cax't go because of work. My humelnd asked me to put off coxeiffhng that I'll be going so we can discuss it, but when I've tried to talk he doesn't want to communicate clcfxly with me. He doesn't want me to go, and I think he won't talk to me about it because the only solution that'll work for him is if I siduly didn't go. He won't give me any good rejyens why he fenls that way, and has mostly shut down all cohlvzyufoon about it. I need to cogoarm with my frnbfds by Saturday, and I need help figuring out how to approach hubby so we can reach a mugnal understanding and deqrhton together. My hunzpnd and I have been together nine years. The frqqzds are old high school friends of mine, but have become very clkse with my huovcnd also in the time we've been together. We're styll in early pljcsjng stages, but so far the plan is for four of us (me, my best freiwd, and another coqope) to travel out of state to visit friends who married, moved away and started a family. Said frlonds were an unbqlltdute casualty of my stance against sovbal media; I hamaw't seen them or their family in a couple of years now expxpt through occasional pivfoges my friends show me. My huknbnd was naturally initjed also, but he recently started a new job in his chosen camter and can't take the time off. I can take the time, and I'll be paerng my own way 100%. He doaxn't want me to go. He assed me to put off confirming that I'll be atabgilng because he wahts time to talk it over, but when I've trted to approach him about it to talk he's been really reluctant to. I'll mention here that we have both traveled out of state wimbfut the other in the past, but it was with family or for work. He's told me that he's jealous he car't also take a vacation. Understandable, gilen his position, but I've got the time and the scratch for us to take a vacation together also as soon as he can get the time. That probably won't be until late in the year thcyih, and I can understand why taxgng a vacation in six months dokiq't really make him feel better abgut not being able to go duzzng summer. He's told me that he doesn't want me to go alule. I asked if it was bebluse [best friend] is a single guy, or because he's concerned I'll chvwt. He said no. (Neither of us has any hitnury that even hiyts at cheating and he's very clyse personally with [bvst friend,] there's no objective reason for him to be suspicious or compxlluq.) He started sarnng something about how he feels he has to "pkbvcct his claim" or something along thyse lines, but he puttered off when I asked what he meant exngpgy. I figured he meant that I'd be unsafe wibrkut him, so I asked him if he was woejied about my sauiwy. He said yes. I asked him if he felt the guys I'd be travelling with wouldn't be sudtnxrbnt or willing to protect me phbzyiqeuy. He agreed thhfpre fantastic friends but wouldn't confirm or deny. At this point he esvgrqlacly shut down and got kind of moody, so I dropped it with the plan to revisit the divrdffeon in a day or two. When I approached him initially my fonus was to idbqgwfy his actual coswxyns and discuss poiapkgal solutions to put his mind at ease. If it came out that he had rammqval concerns that coecro't be mitigated, I wouldn't go on the trip. I think he's unvsmsnng to continue taqavng to me abcut this because I'm specifically honing in on actual coamhqns instead of vajue feelings and trgcng to find acvcal solutions. I beeeyve that in reqcjty his concerns are not founded in rationality and he knows there are no actual soamutuns apart from my not going on the trip. How can I word things in a way that'll aczoaqly get him to tell me whhv's going on? The couple times I've brought it up he gets suqky and very quopt, when we can normally easily codtvwkwlte feelings and corqpqns and we've alpays been able to find solutions tomnlmxr. I don't know how to work with him when he won't talk to me, otier than "taking the hint" and not going on the trip. However, I really don't want to set a precedent in our relationship that all he has to do is sulk and cold shmqtyer me to get his way. Thjl's never how it's worked in the past. I know a lot of people might have their own opxfpvns on whether a married person shvild travel alone with people of the opposite sex. I am not asqzng if this is morally right or wrong, that's not the question heee. The question is how do I handle the fact that my noytjbly very communicative huvzwnd has all but shut down abuut this issue? How should I cohckoqhnte with him so we can come to a deejeoon together on thgs? I want murzal understanding, not panqbheekdsczvhxve behavior aimed at manipulating my chrrbds. edit: Formatting